Scars
by Dauntlesskitty
Summary: Abandonment and heartache lead Clarissa Morgenstern to become the C.I.A's deadliest weapon. When she must be paired with other agents on one of the most important missions of her life,hunting down the people who have been targeting and killing her family off, how will she handle everything? Summary sucks, but please read! Rated T just in case!
1. Chapter 1

**This is the updated version. It is significantly longer than what I originally updated and I hope it has enough detail for you guys! As usual, I do not own the Mortal Instruments however much I really wish I had a Jace Herondale of my own, I do own any characters and story lines of my own and a cat that has thumbs! Enjoy!**

I used to think I knew what the world wanted from me. I knew that everything I've done has saved someone without their knowing, but I'm still not sure if it's the right thing to do. All the blood that I've washed off my hands is still there even though you can't see it. I'm not quite sure how many people I've killed anymore, but I can remember them screaming, some begging for their lives. It's not how my life should have been, but it's how it had to go.

When I was little, I remember my mother coming to read to me right before bed. I remember crawling into bed with my parents during thunderstorms because I was too scared to sleep alone. I remember my older sister teaching me to braid hair, which I had practiced on my brother Jonathan because his silver white hair was so long. I remember thinking that everything was perfect because it seemed that my family was perfect when in reality, it was far from that.

My father was Valentine Morgenstern. A tall, skinny man with silvery white hair and dark brown eyes. He was a kind man, always helping people when he could, making sure that each of his children knew they were loved. He adored his wife, Jocelyn Fairchild. A tall, slim red haired beauty with bright green eyes. She always seemed happy, especially when she painted. I remember her teaching me to draw.

My parents had fallen in love in highschool and had married two weeks after graduating at nineteen. My mother had been two months pregnant with my twin brothers. Seven months into the marriage, she had given birth to Sebastian and Jonathan Morgenstern. Two little boys that had my mother's bright green eyes and my father's silver blond hair. They were inseperable, always causing trouble. I remember hearing the story where they had put blue dye into my father's shampoo, dying the silver blonde hair he was so proud of because it showed his Swiss heritage.

When the twins were four, my older sister Seraphina Morgenstern was born. My mother's red locks topped the little girl's head paired with grayish blue eyes. My father adored her, claiming that it would give him a rest from the troublesome boys. She took after my mother with her calm demeanor, somehow calming the boys down a bit. When she was five, I was born. I was the spitting image of my mother with deep crimson curls and deep emerald eyes, but with a mischevious streak that I had inherited from my father.

We were a happy family for a few years,but as the years passed my parent's marriage became strained. My father still loved my mother dearly, but my mother was distant, spending less and less time at home. When I was seven, I remember hearing my mother and father arguing downstairs. I had crept out into the hallway, finding my brothers already already at the stairs listening. My mother stood at the door, suitcases at her feet and Seraphina at her side. She was leaving. My father looked devastated. I watched as she grabbed her bags and my sister's hand, pulling her out the door. I ran after them. Parked in our driveway was a truck I had never seen before and standing next to it was a man that had Seraphina's eyes.

I remembered that night well. No amount of begging from me or my father would convince my mother to stay. She had made her decision. The one to leave our family torn apart by the sins she had committed. My father had set me and my brothers down at our dining room table to explain everything to us. Jocelyn had met Seraphina's real father on one of her art trips, Luke Garroway. He had been friends with my fathe and mother in highschool and he and my mother had reconnected, falling in love it seemed.

She had begun the affair when the boys were two, conceiving Seraphina when they were three. She had kept this from my father so well. It broke his heart when he had found out. My father sat at the table crying. I had never seen my father cry before. He seemed invincible to me. My brothers were furious with Jocelyn. I was lost. Everything I had known was falling apart around me. My brothers had stayed with me that night as I cried. I had lost my mother and my sister.

My father was miserable for months. Working himself away, sleeping in one of the many guest rooms to avoid going into the bedroom he had shared with his wife for years. It was hard to see my father like this. A strong man destroyed by the betrayal of someone he had given everything to. It wasn't until I was ten that he found someone to mend his broken heart. Kara Fields was a sweet woman. Blonde hair, blue green eyes, short and round. She had divorced two years into her own marriage, taking her daughter Liz with her.

Liz was the same age as long blonde hair and chocolate brown eyes. We had become best friends easily. We spent the rest of our school years together. Suffering through the first day of freshman year and the last days of senior year. My brothers had graduated highschool and had moved away for college. We kept in touch, skyping almost every night if we could.

I never heard from my mother or sister. Not even a phone call or letter. I couldn't care less about Jocelyn anymore, but I never gave up hope on finding my sister. I was never able to find her though. It was like every trace of both of them had disappeared. I had received a scholarship for NYU and I had wanted to stay for my father. I felt like I was abandoning him if I left. He and Kara urged me to go and live my dreams, to fill galleries with my artwork. It had taken awhile for them to convince me to go. I promised that I would keep in tough and come to visit as much as I could, and with that promise, I had left. I had enjoyed myself in New York, calling my father and Kara weekly. My father was happy. My second semester of college, I had gotten the call that would change my life forever.

**Alright, let me know what you guys think, drop a review in that pretty little box right below. Mwah,**

**Dauntlesskitty.**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Please dont hate me! I have been really sick and depressed lately and I couldnt find any inspiration or ideas, but I am back now, and Im so sorry its taken me this long to update. I promise I will add another chapter either later tonight or early tomorrow to make up for how long its taken. I hope you guys can forgive me and I promise I will update as fast as I can. As always, I own nothing but my storyline and added characters. All rights go to Cassandra Clare. Read On!_**

Valentine and Kara Morgenstern were found dead in their home. Tied and gagged on the living room floor, a bullet wound to the head. Liz Morgenstern was found in her bed shot several times in the chest. There wasn't a trace left behind from the killer. Two hours after I had gotten the call, I was in Idris. My brothers had come down to help me situate everything.

We didn't have a funeral. Instead, we had all three of them cremated. We had decided to spread the ashes at the lake on our blue lake surrounded by willow trees and dozens of wildflowers. I remember Seraphina once saying that it was the home of the fairies. I had believed her. It was a magical place, it was beautiful and serene. We spread the ashes under the oldest willow, placing three unmarked tombstones on the soft soil.

The first night was the hardest. Never had I seen my brothers cry, even when our mother had left, but as we said our goodbyes at the airport, the tears flowed freely. They had to go back for their finals, but I was alone. I had made my way back to the Morgenstern Manor, trying to fight the urge to cry. I almost didn't go into the house. I was afraid that the blood would still be there. Someone had the kindness to clean it though, but I couldn't step foot into the living room or Liz's room. I spent the rest of that night in my father and Kara's bed, eventually crying myself to sleep.

We wouldn't sell the house. There were too many memories that had been made there, even if some were our worst. Instead, we closed it down. Covering all the furniture and packing everything in boxes. The last night I had stayed in the house, I was woken up by a knock on the door. Stumbling down the stairs in my pajamas and a frying pan in my hands, I looks through the peephole. Two of my father's friends stood at the door. I had met them once before but only briefly.

Robert and Mayrse Lightwood had been my father's friends since highschool and technically mine and my brothers' god parents. We sat in the dining room for hours talking and grieving my father's and Kara's deaths. That hadn't been the only thing that they had come here for though. Robert and Mayrse had come to recruit me. They knew that I wanted to find whoever had done this, and they could help. I hadn't even given it a second thought before I accepted the offer.

The next morning I would find myself inside one of the C.I.A's hidden compounds, being introduced to the other agents and settling into my new suite. Over the next six months, I would go through training and classes, learning all kinds of self defence, using multiple weapons, learning different languages. I was being trained to become a killer and I would soon become one of the best in the agency.

_**Ugh. Im sorry this one is so short. I promise to give you atleast two new chapters. Please drop a review in that itty bitty box beneath !**_


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